I have a million reasons not to write this post. I can’t say that it’s on my top five (or five thousand) favorite things to talk about. I know many bloggers like to write about “hot controversial topics” to get more traffic, but honestly, we all have enough drama in our lives that I promise I will never, ever, ever create controversy just to get traffic.
However, I just keep sensing that one person needs to read this.
I’m not sure why, and I am just praying that the words will come out with the spirit with which they are meant.
Sweet friend, you need to know…
There is an epidemic in our churches, and you may not even realize it. I know I didn’t for many years. This silent epidemic is robbing women of their self esteem, pushing walls between the men of our churches and God, and destroying families. It robs children of their innocence while they are naively going about their day… and sweet friend, it could be happening in your home.
Online porn is the number one secret in our churches, and no one is saying a word. Look around at church, and think about the staggering statistics that the vast majority of men are addicted to online porn.
We shake hands, we display plastic smiles, maybe we don’t even know what goes on in our homes, and when we find out it is going on at home, we think we’re all alone.
… but we’re not.
The shame that surrounds this secret keeps it hidden in darkness. Husbands are trapped, wives are alone and depressed, and children are catching glimpses of an all adult world way too soon.
…oh be careful little eyes, what you see…
If Satan can keep this epidemic quiet, it will continue to spread. The only way to stop a disease that blossoms in the dark is to bring it into the Light.
Even now, it breaks my heart to think that as a result of this article, someone reading this might make a shocking discovery, and awaken from “blissfully ignorant” sleep into the nightmare that will forever haunt. But sweet friends, as long as these secrets are hidden, they will never be dealt with and defeated for His glory. As long as we shut our eyes and turn our heads, Satan’s dominance in the online realm will spread like wildfire. Perhaps it’s time we claimed some online space for God’s glory.
… and if things are broken, sweet friend, that is exactly when God shows up. In brokenness and desperation, God is most real and powerful. He is close to the broken-hearted, and our mended stories of forgiveness and redemption are His tools for reaching others with His story of love, sacrifice, and redemption…
If you or someone you love has been affected by this secret, could I share some important encouragement with you?
- You are not alone, sweet friend. If 100 of us were in a room together, we would find that this epidemic would affect around 86 of our husbands (according to CovenantEyes.com)
- Your husband’s addiction is not about you. I know it feels like it. It does not mean that you are lacking, that you don’t satisfy your husband, that he is not happy with you, etc. It means he has a heart problem that only God can fix.
- You cannot control your husband. Please don’t try to be God. Let God be God, and trust Him.
- Even if an internet search history is cleared, there is still evidence on the computer about the history of what has been viewed….
- Your children are at risk, whether you believe that right now or not. They are.
- 67% of children admit to clearing their Internet history to hide their online activity
- 79% of accidental exposures to Internet porn among kids take place in the home
- Denial does not stop those you love at home from seeing online porn. Please take appropriate online safety measures.
- There is nothing that God can’t forgive.
- There is no marriage too far gone for God for heal.
- Sometimes God uses the things that break us the most… to bring us closer to Him.
- I care about you. Even across the miles, if I can ever pray with you, for you, at any time, please feel free to reach out to me. You are NOT alone. My email is Melanie (at) OnlyABreath.com and I read every email that comes in, and each one is held in complete confidence.
- God is a miracle worker, an addiction-breaker, an eye-opener, and the One who satisfies all cravings….
- This may be hard to believe, but there is a part of your husband that *hates* online porn as much as you do.
I am happy to partner with “Covenant Eyes“, the BEST online accountability and filtering software. We have used Covenant Eyes in our home for several years and love it.
Each week, my husband and I get reports of each other’s web usage. Each site we visit will be rated. (“T” for teen, “M” for mature, “HM” for highly mature, etc). Since we know that the other person will see what we view online, we are certainly not going to visit any sites that we would be ashamed for the other person to see. Accountability alone is a HUGE deterrent to online porn.
… shedding light on that which Satan has kept secret…
Our oldest son also uses the computer to play games online (Lego.com is one of his favorites!), but I am realizing that it is so easy for children to accidentally stumble on something that they shouldn’t see. That’s why I love Covenant Eyes’ filtering. You can set it up to get accountability reports for your children and also set up filters so that any sites that are rated above their permitted level are completely blocked.
Covenant Eyes is leading the fight against Satan’s primary weapon against our marriages (56% of divorce cases involve one party having an obsessive interest in online porn). PLEASE take time to review the pamphlet below to find out how you can guard your family against online porn.
Click this link to view and download the printable information flyer for Covenant Eyes –> Covenant Eyes Flyer code onlyabreath 1perPage
Click this link and use the code “onlyabreath” to get 30 days of Covenant Eyes completely FREE. Please feel free to print out the .pdf flyer and give it to your friends or make it available at your church. I can’t recommend Covenant Eyes highly enough!
Remember to use the code “onlyabreath” to get 30 days of Covenant Eyes completely FREE.
If you think someone else might benefit from this software, would you please consider “sharing” this post, but first, I just ask that you whisper a silent prayer for the one who may find out this is going on in her home and please pray for God’s healing touch on her marriage…